Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
When one partner pushes for closeness and the other pulls away, the same fight can repeat for years. EFT helps couples see the cycle and reach each other again.
The fight beneath the fight
Most couples do not really argue about dishes or money. Underneath, one partner is asking, do you care, and the other hears, you are failing. One pursues harder, the other shuts down, and both end up lonely. Emotionally focused therapy treats that pattern, not either person, as the problem.
Signs you may be stuck in a cycle
- The same argument keeps coming back
- One of you criticizes and the other goes silent
- You feel more like roommates than partners
- Small comments trigger big reactions
- Intimacy has faded
- You both feel misunderstood
How EFT usually unfolds
- 1.
De-escalate
Identify the cycle and the emotions that drive it, so fights calm down.
- 2.
Reach underneath
Each partner shares the fears and needs behind their reactions.
- 3.
Reconnect
New conversations where both people feel heard and safe.
- 4.
Consolidate
Practice handling old problems in the new way.
Who offers EFT here
Michelle Mitchell, LMFT, has fifteen years of experience with couples, families and individuals. Emotionally focused therapy is among the approaches she uses, together with CBT, mindfulness-based and narrative approaches. She sees couples in person in Sugar Land and by telehealth.
It is not about blame
Couples often arrive expecting the therapist to decide who is right. EFT does not work that way. The goal is understanding why each of you reacts as you do, so you can stop hurting each other and start turning toward each other.
After an affair or a long distance
EFT can also help couples rebuilding trust after a breach or reconnecting after years of drifting apart. If one partner is unsure about staying, the therapist can help you look at that honestly too.
Questions
How many sessions does EFT take?
It varies. Many couples notice calmer arguments within the first several sessions.
Can we do EFT online?
Yes. Michelle Mitchell sees couples by telehealth as well as in person.
What if my partner is not ready?
You can start individually, and invite your partner later.
Is EFT covered by insurance?
Coverage depends on your plan. Michelle Mitchell's profile lists the plans she accepts, and we file claims on request.
Turn back toward each other
Request an appointment online, or call or text 832-876-3232 and we will help you choose a therapist.