GRIEF AND HEALING

Grief. Something no one wants to experience, something no one wants to talk about, but something we all experience. That’s right. If you’re alive, you’ve experienced loss, and grief is the normal and natural response to loss. So, if we’ve all experienced this feeling, why is it we can’t seem to figure out how to move through it?

Unfortunately, while we all experience grief, it’s just something we struggle to fully express and move through. Most often this is because we don’t know how to manage our grief. We try and listen to what we hear, but it doesn’t help. For example, “Time heals all wounds,” “You’ll find someone else,” “Be strong.” Those are all things we hear out of the mouths of well-intentioned people who probably care about us. The thing is, it doesn’t really help. The reason those words don’t bring us comfort and are more mythical than truthful is because, time won’t make it better, and while we may find someone else, it doesn’t acknowledge the pain and loss we’re feeling right now. When we’re in pain, it’s really hard to be strong.

Enough about what doesn’t work, what does work? How can you truly work through your grief and get to the other side, the side where there is peace and freedom from the pain? There is an answer. It’s not magic, and it’s not easy. This process takes work, determination, and a willingness to work through the pain to experience freedom from pain. It’s important to trust the process, especially when you start to feel like you want to quit. It’s a method that provides you with the correct action steps to completing the pain associated with the loss.

There are over 40 different types of loss we may experience in our lives. The one that probably comes to mind first is death. The one that happens most often, but we don’t consider a loss is loss of expectation. Loss of expectation is a huge loss and can happen multiple times over the course of our lives. The impact this loss has on us depends on the relationship to the person who failed to meet our expectations. If I’m the child of an abusive parent, I am struggling with a loss of expectation. I expected my parent to protect me and keep me safe, that didn’t happen. The grief associated with that loss can fester and grow inside of me, causing negative manifestations such as mental unwellness, anger, depression, and anxiety. Experiencing any type of trauma is a loss of expectation.

Many times, we hold on to our grief when we experience a death of a loved one because we are afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel free, we will forget the person who died or stop honoring them. This is not possible.

I am a certified Grief Recovery Method specialist, and have helped many adults experiencing grief both individually and in groups. I implement a research-based method of working through grief and completing the relationship to the pain caused by grief in a completely judgement free process. It will allow you to complete the relationship to the pain while holding on to the wonderful parts of your relationship. I will encourage you to not to judge yourself through the process, but allow yourself the opportunity to feel all of the feelings you feel associated with the grief in a safe space. The effort you put into your grief work will determine your level of result. If you’re willing to do the work, you will experience freedom from the pain associated with the loss. If you feel that you’re not free to live your life as you would like because you are holding on to grief, scheduling a session or a free 15 minute consultation may be a great next first step. Call us at 832-876-3232 if you would like to learn more or to schedule an individual session or to participate in our upcoming grief groups for adults or children.